- speech
* opening
** Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for a moment
*** Tonight, I would like to propose a toast to a man
**** highest moral integrity
**** loved by all who know him
**** strong character
**** devoted family man
**** outstanding representation of his convictions
*** But unfortunately, Charleton Heston couldn't be here tonight
*** So instead, let's talk about Bill Harp
* core
** characteristics
*** an acquired taste, much like "cheap beer"
*** Remembers what people want, what people like, and where to get it
*** nothing stops him
**** never seen a more creative mind at problem solving
**** "how soon can you get this?" "4pm" "I mean without breaking any laws" "Oh, OK, 6pm"
*** devoted father
**** great around kids, because he's just a big kid himself
***** magic tricks
**** mopping up the pieces of the recent fiasco around Billy
*** loyal to family members
**** always talking about "my brother did this" or "my sister did that", but I'd always have to say "which sister/brother?"
*** expert at SOCOM Navy Seals
**** "how soon before you're going to get back to the house" "why" "because I wanna play SOCOM until you're back"
*** fun guy
**** Getting up on the table at the frozen yogurt store across the street from Sunset High School dancing to "I can dream about you"
**** literally picking up the first class flight attendant on a flight and dancing with her
*** huge
**** Daily ritual of going to Red Robin to eat
**** Only person I knew who could eat *two* 20-piece mcnuggets in one setting, and then still wonder what was next
**** extra chef when we'd go to kings table
**** driving back from cali with the seat all the way back and his knees alongside the wheel
*** ever changing facial hair
*** Always bail me out when I was in trouble
*** Always the "yin" to my "yang"
**** He'd create the new chaos, I'd create the new order from the chaos
**** We knew the job was complete when I bought my Camaro
** Jobs
*** business partner
**** velvet dreams
**** tropidera
**** various stonehenge promotions
***** Incredibly successful events, firmly establishing my company as the leader-by-a-large-margin in my industry
***** when he was just clowning around, he was great (wd-99 san francisco party)
*** DJ at Skate World when I met him
*** Balloon Affair / Strip-Tease Telegrams
**** No truth to the rumor that he was actually one of the male strippers
**** slept in the van when he was between apartments
*** Bartender at more bars than I can count
**** You've heard of "That which does not kill you makes you stronger"? His is "That which does not kill you, needs an extra shot on the next round."
*** Cruise ship staff
**** Omar the tent maker for his clothing
**** Was there that he met, Michelle...
** michelle
*** lived in my house for the past many months
*** very sweet
*** knows how to party until the penguins come home (ask her about that)
*** seems to be able to put up with Bill in ways that I'd never tolerate
*** good medical/dental plan
* closing
** So here's to Bill, new husband to Michelle
** Many long years of happiness and excitement together
** And move out of my house soon
** Salut!